I need to put my focus on the inspiration, what I'm being called to create, and the act of creation. I need to focus on the art and being, BEING, an artist. Focusing on how to structure a portfolio, check the boxes, and form plans for how to structure anything (a website or career path)—these are traps. Investigating how others get things aligned, a trap. Forming a conscious plan in these and in other ways, a trap.
I'm happiest as an artist and creator when it's just me, the Source, and the act. That's when I create my best work. My best work falls apart when I try and polish it too much or make forced decisions for the work. Putting something as formless, analogous as art into a container before the moment it dictates or clearly communicates to me what it needs to be (format-wise) robs it of its life force. It always ends, recedes—that sacred energy backs away when I try to control it.
The control from me, that act of treason, I'm inclined to believe, must offend the muse—that energy that's born to guide me, not me it. I need to learn to respect the dynamic. Honor my position. It's a dance between us two. I'm not meant to lead; I'm not even an equal. I'm a partner. The earthly element it needs to say what it yearns to say. I'm the receiver, and it's a way of communicating messages to be shaped perhaps in a certain way—a language I came into the world knowing how to speak.
My personal creative dialect. My vision. My way of taking what it gently whispers to my soul and making that tangible, external to it and myself.
That's my role in the dance. It, this Energy, chose me, for whatever reason. And I accepted. It gave me the ability—the antenna, as I commonly put it. It gave me the desire to develop clearer reception. It gave me a heartfelt love of the Source, from which all of its whispers flow through me when I allow it to gently flow.
That's the way it's meant to be.
This dance between the Source, that sustains me, brings me peace, fills and overflows my cup. The dance is what I'm here for—why I am me and why, I'm certain, why I am still alive.
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